Becca Ellis
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
AKA criticism, rejection & others' moods make you crumble
It's the way you take these things and more way too personally, and feel ridiculous for reacting like that.
The fact it has a name and is studied hopefully makes you feel less alone.
So what can we do about it?
Are you fed up of people telling you to shake it off, or not take things so personally? Especially at your age?
RSD is a term coined by Dr. William Dodson, and thankfully now it's all over social media. It's very prevelent in people with ADHD, but I suspect it's not exclusively their/our cross to bear.
If you notice that your life has become smaller because you avoid doing things that might, possibly, just maybe (in real life - in your head it's at least 70% sure) make you feel like shit if they aren't totally validated and delighted in, maybe this is you.
Can you relate?
At primary school one of my chums coined the term
"crushed baby beetroot"
which sticks with me as how I feel when I'm hit with RSD.
The colour of shame for all to see.
The shrinking as my whole soul deflates.
The utter anihilation from one well (or mis-) placed comment.
And knowing that most people would just brush it off makes it all the harder to deal with. There is something even more excrutiating about how easily someone's look, words, or lack of look or words can bring you to your knees when you know damn well that you're the only one this happens to - you don't see anyone else reacting like that, do you?
I'm so happy this is out in the open now, that it has a name.
And mostly, that there are reasons for it.
That means it's not our fault, we are not weak, pathetic, less than.
It's not a character flaw we're too useless to "get over".
About me
Again, I've been there! I have so much compassion for you!
And while I can't say my skin has suddenly become as thick as an elephants, that I'm now immune to any slight, I promise that since discovering tapping, I am nowhere near as paper thin as I used to be.
And it happens much less frequently, for less time, with less intensity than for most of my life.
And more than that, I have the compassion and tools to hold myself through such episodes.
That's what I want for you too.
"What I love about working with Becca is how she is always giving me the feeling of being held in safe hands that know exactly what they are doing.It is palpable that she has done lots of inner work herself and when we have been working on quite some complex topics together she always found ways to guide me competently and compassionately out of the labyrinth I had been in.On top of that she has this loving, caring and non-judgmental attitude, that makes me feel completely seen, heard and just comfortable.Even when the issue at hand is a heavy one, with Becca there will always be some lighthearted splashes of humor and laughter, which I appreciate a lot." HM, Germany